You are exactly where you need to be
Have you ever sat and thought, gosh so and so’s life is so much better? Do not worry we all do that. Comparing ourselves to our friends, family and even celebrities is something very common nowadays. Social media has made it so easy for us to see the intimate details of everyone’s life. Primarily the good parts, let’s be honest. Very few people keep it real online. So consciously or unconsciously we all compare - are we as pretty as this person? As successful? As happy? As rich? The list is endless.
I used to do this a lot back int he day. I come from a background that has been a financial rollercoaster when I was a child. Going from rags to riches to rags to riches. Honestly, living in post-communist Bulgaria with parents working government jobs it was definitely not boring with the political powers changing every 5 seconds. Why am I telling you that? Because there were a lot of times we did not have much and as a child and teenager I felt really sad about it. I am old enough to know life pre-social media but also know that kids are cruel.
I remember thinking about the neighbour kid who had a giant teddy bear, one I had never seen before. I used to have mostly old stuffed toys passed through the generations. I think this was the first time I felt envy and desire to be someone else. When I used to visit they ate from fancy plates and jars and everything used to be new and yummy and beautiful. Why am I taking you down memory lane? Because we all have this core memory created at some point where we compared ourselves to someone we felt was better than us, and that becomes a silent but dangerous habit.
Thinking the grass is always greener does not allow you to live in the now and focus on you, and what you can do to change things. It projects responsibility to hypothetical scenarios of ‘if only…’. This can somewhat be OK when you are a child but it becomes a bigger problem as you grow older. I have caught myself through time thinking about a friend or an acquittance and comparing my life to theirs. Thinking how they have it all, good, better, why can’t I be like that etc etc…
At some point though, I looked around me and realised - life is a journey. Nothing stands still. Who you are today does not define who you will be tomorrow. Where you are in your life today does not define where you will be tomorrow. The moment that thought hit me, I looked around one more time and realised - these people I had thought about, wished to have their lives or experiences were all in different places now. Believe in your own journey, other people really do not matter. I do not want to say they are irrelevant but they are irrelevant for comparison. Your life is yours and only yours to live. You make the rules, you set the goals, you experience it all - nobody else.
There is a different between being inspired by people and being envious of them. It is important to surround yourself with people who make you want to reach for the stars - your stars, not theirs. So, believe in the fact that you are exactly where you need to be in your own personal journey. It has its ups and downs. You may be reading this in time when everything is crashing around you and think ‘gosh what does she know’ but trust me, we all have our personal moments where our world have crumbled. Comparing to other people in that moment is the worst thing you can do for your mental health. Also, do not forget that people sometimes, can show a life they wished to live rather than reality, so all you are doing is comparing yourself to something that does not exist.
Focus on you, on where you want to be next year this time and forget about the rest, because it truly is only noise.
