I feel like I failed… Now what?
Failure - the dreaded word of the day. I am going to skip past the social media aspect of how people perceive other people’s lives, and how this can be really impactful on anyone’s mental health. In this post, I want to focus on actual failure - when we, as individuals, make a move and epically F*** it up. Or at least we perceive it this way.
We live in a society that does not allow much room for mistakes. So when one happens we tend to punish ourselves, invite negativity into our lives and overall not be kind to ourselves for not being able to prevent the failure. The reality is, there is saying: what goes up must come down and vice versa. Thinking of life as a cycle and engraining that way of thinking into us can help us sail through the times a little easier. Life is not a constant, the good times come and go, and so do the bad times. However, we do get stuck in the bad ones much more than we feel gratitude for the good ones. These are time when our gratitude practices can be really helpful. They support a healthy relationship with our good times but we can talk about this later. Ultimately a time where we feel like we failed is a time for introspection. It is a time to give ourselves space to pause, heal and learn from the situation. It is not important that we fail, what is important is that we get up again and keep going. Do not let social media let you believe that the people in the shiny pictures and videos have never failed, lost, felt helpless or cried. We all experience a period of downfall in our time, each to our own and at a different timing of our life. It always feels uncomfortable and scary but ultimately there always is something better waiting for us on the other side. Even that being a stronger and more resilient version of ouselves.
What is personal failure?
Personal and emotional failure can feel overwhelming, but it often serves as a powerful stepping stone towards growth and resilience. Studies show that 85% of people experience a significant emotional failure at some point in their lives, such as a broken relationship or unfulfilled goal. However, these experiences can lead to profound personal development. For instance, research from the American Psychological Association reveals that individuals who face and overcome emotional setbacks often exhibit increased emotional intelligence and empathy. Oprah Winfrey, once fired from her first television job, used her perceived failure to fuel her determination, ultimately becoming a global media mogul. Similarly, Steve Jobs’ ousting from Apple led to a period of introspection and innovation, resulting in his triumphant return and the company's subsequent success. A study published in the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology found that 70% of people who embrace their emotional failures develop stronger, more meaningful relationships. This resilience is also linked to improved mental health, as overcoming personal challenges builds a robust coping mechanism. While emotional failure can be painful, it often catalyzes profound personal growth, fostering a more resilient and empathetic self.
What is professional failure?
On the professional front, failure is often seen as a setback, but it can also be a powerful catalyst for success. In fact, 90% of startups fail, yet many entrepreneurs use these experiences to innovate and achieve greater success later on. Consider Thomas Edison, who famously said, "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." His persistence led to the invention of the electric light bulb. Similarly, J.K. Rowling faced numerous rejections before Harry Potter became a global phenomenon, demonstrating that perseverance can transform failure into triumph. A study by Harvard Business Review found that entrepreneurs who previously failed have a 20% higher chance of success in their subsequent ventures. This resilience is echoed in the sports world, where Michael Jordan, who missed over 9,000 shots in his career, credits his failures for his achievements. Embracing failure not only builds resilience but also fosters innovation and creativity. Research shows that 42% of entrepreneurs who learn from their mistakes are more likely to pivot and succeed. These examples illustrate that failure is not the end but a stepping stone to greater accomplishments, proving that resilience and a growth mindset are key to turning setbacks into opportunities.
Ultimately, failure can lead us to take the leap of faith we would have never done while being in mild discomfort day to day. In order for us to really make a change in life, we usually have to go through an impactful, painful and extremely uncomfortable moment that cannot be justified. Our human brains are OK to justify mild discomfort and to choose it day after day, as it feels familiar. This is why many people never end up living to their potential because they are in that grey zone of kind of feeling OK. If you are going through a moment feeling like everything is crumbling apart and you feel you have failed, remember it is your moment to go inwards, learn and then make a step towards whatever your new reality can be.
